I didn’t have sex with tammy
Or did you?
As you may or may not be aware, Andy my flat mate has recently split up with his missis. We were out a while ago and he made reference to the fact that he thought she was a Lezbo. I laughed and recounted a story to him, it went like this.
“Dude, i was up doing an all nighter a few months ago and at about 5:00am I hear the door to steph’s bedroom open and out comes Tammy, she was looking a bit worse for ware and seemed to be caught off guard when she saw me, made her excuses and then left quickly”
Andy was in New Zealand at the time and i didn’t think much more about Tammy’s strange early morning exit save for “It’s a shame andy didn’t get to join in with their wee lezzy play session”
Flash Forward 2 today
Im sitting in the car waiting for Rach to cum back with her sausages (she had for some strange reason been craving a sausage all day) and my phone peeps *sms arrival*
“hmm i think” and pick it up.
it was from an unknown number so i was more curious than normal as it opened onto my screen. Here’s what it said:
” Hi James, Andy told me that you thought i was having an affair with Tammy. Just for the record, nothing ever happened btwn us, She is just a great friend. Hope you are well.”
I digress
ok, It’s at this point i should inform you that early on friday morning (4am) steph dropped by the house pissed as a newt and her and andy decided to air some dirty laundry. In this airing session Andy was forthcoming in many ways, indeed maybe too many ways, he is quoted as saying “well your just a big fat Lesbian”
“What the fuck do you mean” said steph.
“James told me you fucked Tammy when i was Overseas”
“James is a cunt. I hate him” (this last part is pure speculation but i’m pretty sure thats what was going through her head.
I Regress
Ok so i have just read the sms form steph saying she didn’t have an affair, and to be honest i didn’t at any point insinuate she was having an affair, i just thought she maybe fucked Tammy that night, so i informed her to this fact my responding to her sms with this:
“Nope, I didn’t think you were having an affair, just thought you had fucked her”
to which steph replied “well i didn’t”
and my response was obvious. “cool”
It’s a pretty long winded story i know but it had to be told. classic comedy i feel. probably made another enimy by steph but hey. life is too short.
actualy if she’s not my enimy she will be after reading this blog entry. best move house again.